. . . And the Results for Tyke

Oh, man! You see the differences between generations. At least he got 10% of my Dixie. But I still don't know who is responsible for that Upper Midwestern!

I wanna know who's responsible for this test. I mean, like, what is WRONG with you people? Do you not know that Valley Girl is a whole major region of America? Gag me! I am, so totally like, 50% Valley Girl and 50% Dixie. The test is inaccurate, 'z'all ahm sayin'.

It just came to me. The Upper Midwest? Garrison Keillor? Oh, no! We'll have to stop listening to Prairie Home Companion!

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

25% Yankee

10% Dixie

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

For his part, the Tyke wonders where the Dixie and U. Midwestern came from, too. And, just for the record, he was born a Brit. He keeps saying that he wants to speak like a Briton. (It would be fine with me if he didn't speak like a wurzel--that is, a southwesterner from Bristol, where he was born. He would be saying "fink" instead of "think," and "fur'een" instead of--get this--"thirteen.") So we are an enunciatorily, dialectically, regionally dysfunctional family. Evidently, there's a lot of explaining to do. Tyke wants to take the test again, giving opposite answers, to see what he'll be.

All this tangled mayhem reminds me of Robin McNeil's book, which I recently read, entitled Do You Speak American?

I reckon.