Friday, July 15, 2005

Dumb jokes

Because it's summer, we have popsicles! But they don't come anymore the way they did when I was a kid. They used to be double, with double sticks, so if you had a sibling or a friend with you, you could share. And I have a hard time finding banana and root beer flavors now. They exist; I'm just not a zealous enough shopper.

So I found these juice popsicles that are vitamin fortified. They are pretty good and the fruit punch ones taste like watermelon--I'd have knocked a kid over for something like that when I was little. But it's not the vitamins that I care about. It's the sticks. Yep, because the sticks are printed with Terrible Riddles and Jokes. Last year, the riddle and its answer were hidden inside the "quiescently frozen confection." (I hate to think what it's like to be "quiescently frozen.")

But this year the Popsicle Quality Control persons had a brainstorm, and let the question be on the part of the stick you hold, and the answer be hidden under the ice. So if you need the time to think of an answer, you have until you lick the answer off to guess it. Neat, huh?

Well, let me tell you I am the queen of stupid jokes. I am undefeated champion as of one-and-a-half boxes. It's not a skill you can just pick up, and it's a shock of a talent to discover when at least half your natural life is statistically over. I hope I can use it in upcoming job interviews.

Here are some I can remember off the top of my head:
  1. What's the saddest tree?
  2. Why did the driver throw money on the road?
  3. When is the theater clumsy?
  4. Why did the exterminator lose his job?
  5. Why did the book work for the FBI?
  6. Why did the book wind up in the hospital?

Now, go slurp something icy and drippy and think of some answers.


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