Payoff Time

Well, a loyal reader (yes! I have one!) appealed to my sense of Fair Play and requested the answers to the terrible riddles. Only I can't remember all of them, so I have to have another window open to see what I said before.

1. What's the saddest tree?
   A weeping willow.
2. Why did the driver throw money on the road? (Sounds like a recast "blonde joke" to me)
   So she could see if she could stop on a dime.
   
   I KNOW!! BOOO! AND IT GETS WORSE . . .
3. When is the theatre clumsy?
   When the curtain falls.
4. Why did the exterminator lose his job?
   Because he was bugging people.
5. Why did the book work for the FBI?
   Because it wanted undercover work.
6. Why did the book wind up in the hospital?
   Because it broke its spine!

Yes! And there are worse ones! Some in the new popsicle box don't even work at all; or they're set up backwards. Trust us. We are becoming experts. and the popsicles aren't as good, either, but since we have our popsicles while we are watching Lance Armstrong and Team Discovery burn themselves up and whip the competition on the Alps and Pyranees, we don't really care because we are screaming and cheering while we slurp and the flavor is irrelevant.

Example of a bad one: How do elves make sandwiches?

Don't wait with bated breath. It's not worth it. With shortbread.

What's a snake's favorite subject? Hiss-tory.

What do you call a funny snake? Hiss-terical.

Sigh. It's hardly worth going on.

But the tyke has lately surpassed me in popsicle points, and I am running a sad second. But I have to muster the appetite to slurp my way through more.