And another ad . . .

Thanks to a comment from Nance, whose blog I read regularly and admire, I've remembered another ad that drives me crazy (see preceding post). Nance took me down a notch for not just coming out and saying VAGINA, instead using the jejune, not-even-properly-euphemistic "va-jay-jay." Well played, Nance. But I just wanted to try it for once. So I did, and now I'm over it.

Onward. In thinking about "vagina," I remembered a pregnancy-test ad that rankles me. And not a moment after I remembered it, I heard that very ad as I prepared my morning coffee. It was scary, really, as if Big Brother had detected my thought and plotted vengeance! I am, however, proud to state that I do not know what brand name it promotes (because the main gist of the ad is just too ugly to stick; in fact, it splashes off). The pregnancy test stick is shown against a solid black background, and flies through apparent space like the Starship Enterprise. It even has a shuttle-like separation as the cap disengages. Then an imposing MALE voice states something like, "It's the most state-of-the-art piece of technology you'll ever pee on."

Heaven help us. When I had cats, they used to like to pee on technology (old-timey technology, like LP record albums and phonographs, a VCR, and the sacred portable "word processing" typewriter. They would pee on anything that took my attention away from them--The New Yorker, textbooks, the Sunday Times.) That is, until I had them NEUTERED. That nipped the habit in the bud post-haste. While I'm all for snarkiness and sarcasm and cynicism and cattiness, this ad steps over the line of decency. I don't want a man talking to me about my pregnancy test. Someone who might be a real user is much more credible. Stupid announcer! Spare us, and do not "boldly go where no man has gone before." Oh, and that's a whole other irritation--the famous split infinitive, "to boldly go." Going on a piece of technology. No, thanks to toilet humor!